Tangent Online

Not since Marina Fitch's "The Silent Treatment" (F&SF, Aug., 1993) have I read a more ill-conceived, sophomorically reasoned, and downright idiotic story than Neal Asher's "Mason's Rats" (Asimov's, April/May, 2005).

Set in the near future, the story is a simple one. A farmer, Mason, attempts to eradicate the rats eating his grain (in this case, alpha-wheat). An age-old problem updated. He has purchased the latest high-tech, mechanical traps, but to no avail. Not only have the rats evaded the traps, they have evolved. They possess a high degree of intelligence, wear toolbelts, and make weapons (crossbows for one). Recommended to him by a fellow farmer, Mason visits Traptech, a company specializing in state-of-the-art anti-vermin remedies (fancy surveillance systems tied into small robotic hunter-seekers; in this case a metallic scorpion, a TT15 model). Upset at the priceyness of this new security system, he nevertheless purchases it for his enterprise is huge, with several large grain storage facilities. 
 
After a short period of time it becomes clear that the Traptech TT15 metallic scorpion is doing its job. The rats are on the run, many wounded and more dead. Though expensive, it would appear Mason's investment is worth the price. He has won the battle with the rats, his grain is saved, end of story. Guess again. This is where the story breaks down and devolves into sheer idiocy. At the very end of this four-pager, in the midst of a battle between the rats and the TT15, we are given this:
 
     "Mason walked over to the doors, opened them, then hit the lights for G2. The TT15 scuttled on into the barn, immediately zeroing in on movement at the further edge of the floor. Mason gazed across and saw a group of rats. Many of them were injured. Many of them were applying dressings and tying on splints. They all looked up at him, glittery eyed. He raised his shotgun and saw what could only be described as a look of fatalism come onto their ratty faces. He fired both barrels of the shotgun and blew the TT15 to scrap.
     "As he turned and left the barn shortly after, on his way to cancel the check he had sent to Traptech, Mason felt extremely pleased with himself--in fact, the happiest he had felt in days. The kind of rats he really hated wore suits and cost a damned sight more than a few handfuls (sic) of alpha-wheat."
 
Let's examine what we've just read. Mason's justification for allowing rats to live is that he hates anyone who wears a suit. The evidence? Early in the story, while visiting Traptech for the first time and speaking with a representative, Asher gives this bit of insight into Mason's thinking:  

So Mason, simply because a sales rep wears a suit, will now allow the rats that have plagued his grainery to live. To live, continue to evolve, and to breed. Breed into the thousands, and very quickly given their gestation period and litter size. To breed, and consume one helluva lot more grain than "a few handfuls." (Shouldn't that be "handsful"?) Rats are also carnivorous; they eat people. And let's not forget what else rats are famous for--spreading disease. Remember the Plague, anyone?  Let's recap this whole disaster. Mason doesn't like anyone who wears a suit. The man who has solved his rat problem wears a suit. Mason lets his rats live because he dislikes anyone who wears a suit worse, totally ignoring the consequences. Modern day science fiction at its best, folks.
 
Back in the 60's, the Man wore a Suit, and Big Business/Corporations were equated with the Establishment. The Man/Big Business/Corporations/The Establishment, were all synonymous in certain circles and in certain discussions with "Suit."  "Suit" was used as shorthand for all of the above, depending on the circumstances of the discussion, and how clever one wanted to be while passing the joint. So Asher (through Mason) shows us his distaste for the Big Business that sold him the solution to his rat problem by allowing the rats to live, totally ignoring the consequences of his inane ideology. Even when the Man, the Suit, does a Good Thing, it is still an evil entity. So much for rational thought. And I'm reasonably certain that any card-carrying member of PETA who may come across this story will have a membership application in the mail to Mr. Asher pronto, and will invite him to appear in the pages of its newsletter. I can see it now:  RATS RIGHTS! the headline will read. Under this we will see: "The killing must stop," Asher proclaims. An ACLU legal representative will have a one column sidebar explaining why "the ACLU is looking seriously into the matter, and while there is no case precedent involving intelligent rodents, if it were proved that indeed these highly evolved rats were capable of making tools, communicating with one another, and otherwise exhibited  conscious reasoning and emotions (as presented in Mr. Asher's story, which the ACLU has not read but is attempting to procure), then their rights should be protected under the law." 
 
Right. Now there's your story; "Rat Sues Man."
 
There's enough blame here to spread around. I not only blame the author for a poorly reasoned piece of juvenile claptrap (sign being waved by protestor, Rats Have Feelings Too/Down With The Suit), but the editor who bought it. I'm not sure if this was a holdover from Gardner Dozois' inventory or Sheila Williams liked it well enough to pay money for it. Doesn't matter. In either case, the editor left his or her literary tastebuds on the bedpost overnight.
 
Oh, and I fully intend to wear a suit to this story's funeral.